I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize