We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize