Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize