Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
