And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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