By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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