My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
