we're blogging at a bar
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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