I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize