u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
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We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
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Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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