the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
