I must be too annoying 4 u.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
