Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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