Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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