she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
