Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm at about main and main street
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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