you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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