So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
