I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
