So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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