We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
