Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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