Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
