i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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