I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
