what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
