So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
