Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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