is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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