Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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