using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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