for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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