Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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