I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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