i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
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Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
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oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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