There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Let's get the cat blown out
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
