So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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