You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
