Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
