I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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