and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The beer is more important than you right now.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
