I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
