my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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