So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
