Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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