remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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