Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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