even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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