I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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