it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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