and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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