We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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