Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
