If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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