Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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