After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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