i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
