fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Non-Jews are for practice
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
