you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
