a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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